ILY SKY

So what can I say about this little lady! She is so much fun, she can make everyone mind. There are a few people that I wouldn't think would do as she says but so far everyone of us mind her pretty well. She goes from 0 to 100 in 5 seconds,  she's everything an parent would want. She's funny, wild, bossy, lovey, mean, evil, and so dang cute. She gets the teen boys to play hide and seek, ring around the rosey, makes them go hug the table leg on Nana table in her room, to jumping on Jon's bed. Then she gets Auntie Jody and Auntie Vannie to lay down with her and watch "UP" or "LITTLE MERMAID", pulls them around where ever she wants to go. They are told to get what she wants and she even has them scratch her back when she goes to sleep. She loves To but her head on Auntie Jordy and then Yells "OUCH" Like jordan did it! She makes sure Nana knows just how she likes her sausage, and her oranges,  and how she likes her bath ran, and that she likes to walk puma herself, or that she likes Nana to walk her on pumas leash,  and she has Uncle walk with her on the back of the couch, or hits him and throws things when she thinks
He's breaking the TV.  But he minds her. To her Uncle Jay Jay who she gets to throw balls with or who she uses for her pillow or even when we say no she tries to get Uncle Jay Jay to do it. She knows that she can get Stephie to go walk with her because Stephie loves the outdoors. She's so extremely smart she has no reason to talk when she gets her point across just fine without talking. She always remembers her water balloon bucket and brings it to us and says "more" and signs it also along with "please" and signs that to! She knows if she wants to have a fit over something she can't have or something she cant do she puts herself in the corner. Everyday she suprised us with a new word or a new idea. Her toys all have there own buckets and don't mix them together or its "DON'T DON'T DONT" or "NO NO NO" Then she has to dump them all out and return organize them. The poor girl already has OCD! But she warms are heart and bring so much love into our lives. I wouldn't change anything about her!

Adam Curtis Daniels

Adam Curtis Daniels Part 1
It has been 19 days since you were hurt Adam.

This is as I know it, from the stories that were told the night you were hurt. Let me tell you how it went for me.

I was laying in my bed at 10:15PM on Monday night the 16th of April, 2007. Mary came into my room hysterical. Sherri was on the phone and Adam was at Tacoma General Hospital in surgery.

I didn't know what had happened, I only knew that I had to get there. I arrived about 20 minutes later, and the scene was scary. Adam, you were in surgery, people were sitting around in shock and trying to piece together what had happened to you. I can only say that it wasn't real. It felt like one of your tricks. Your shock and awe that you like to do to us. But also knowing that was not the case.

The doctor came out and told us that you were in very critical condition and that it was minute by minute. You could live or die. We knew this was serious. We were able to see you after they had moved you to the ICU trauma unit. Adam, what that did to my heart, it broke into a thousand pieces. The only thing that I could think of was to get a picture of you. I needed the nurses to see that you were our boy, our baby, indeed a special person. I made prints of a picture of Mary and you, and one of you, and hung them on the wall. We daily add pictures of your family. We want the world to know that they are working to save someone important to a huge family.

The fact that someone would hurt you beyond recognition was unfathomable to me. You, who would go the extra mile in the name of love, family and friendship. You could not breath on your own, you could not open your eyes, you were not with us, and we were very afraid. Over the next week, it continued to be touch and go, we learned to watch numbers like you will never believe. We learned what all of the numbers meant, and how to keep them where they needed to be.

At one time this was the scene that we were facing. You were hooked up to 9 different IV medications. For pain, for short term memory, for seizures, for blood sugar, for sodium levels, neo synephrine for blood pressure, morphine (an amount that would have killed me), and a wonder drug call propopol (milk of amnesia). You had a ventilator, because you were in a paralytic state and could not breath on your own. You had 50+ staples in your head and more in your leg, broken ribs, and a serious bleed on your head. Then you developed a bleed on the brain, and severe pnuemonia. You had ventilator tubes, a probe in your head that gave us your ICP's (inter-cranial pressure counts) which was our most important number of all, we had to try to keep you down under 20. You had a feeding tube in your nose, and they were dumping meds into your system to try to keep the numbers in sync.

Then on Wednesday night the 18th, your sister who had diagnosed with pre-clampsia during the daytime, started getting a horrible headache. We tried to give her tylenol, nothing would touch it. We realized that nothing we were doing was helping her, so we took her to Good Samaritan Birthing Center. They checked her out and decided that it would be best to keep her there for the night. They had decided that they were going to induce her labor the next morning because her blood pressure had elevated to dangerous levels. Then her urine tests came back, and we were notified that her protein levels were at 26,000. The normal number being 100. She was dumping toxins into her system and they had to get your niece out of there. At 5:30 pm on the 19th they delivered "Malia Antonella Little Feather Cuny Mostrom Sonsteng". How is that for a name. She weighed 5 lbs and 10 ounces and was 18 1/2" long. What a gorgeous baby. She was taken to NICU, and Destiny was taken to the Critical Care Unit.

So now we have 2 kids in Critical condition. Not good odds for us. In a normal situation, Destiny's numbers should have started coming down. No, not for us, her number elevated to 32.000. She had a ton of magnesium in her system, which is a poison when dumped like that, and the baby had magnesium levels in her system as well. So Mom and I tag teamed. You would have been proud of us. We make a great team.

During this time, you started to open your eyes, and your stare was blank. You did not respond, and did not see us. Were you in there? That was the million dollar question. If you hear "squeeze my hand" one more time, you will probably shoot us.

Every day you are taking tiny steps forward, it gives us great hope for you. We don't know the extent of damage that was done to you as of yet. We have had many long days. You seem to have bad nights, so Mom and I make a point of going up to the hospital at night to make sure you are okay. Your numbers seem to go up the most during the late evening. We talk softly to you, rub your shoulders, rub your forehead, etc. You especially like to have your tummy rubbed. We try different things, to make the numbers stay down. We are not always successful and sometimes that have to give you a bullet shot to knock you down. Oh, how I wish we had that 15 years ago. "Adam is being bad, shoot, knock him out". Wow, would that have been nice. You have leg massagers on your legs, that cover the staples, due to being hit in the legs with a bat. Your broken ribs are healing on there own, since you cannot move, they did not have to wrap them. And you have braces on your legs to keep them straight, in order to protect your ankles. You are definently wired. All of the wires are scary, however, we ask questions, and know what each thing is for. We are okay with that. They are all helping you.

You hate the ventilator in your throat. You fight it harder and more often than you used to fight with Ryan.

More Later...................

 Adam Curtis - Part 2


We talked about how much you hate the ventilator. Well, on wednesday the 2nd of May, they took out your ventilator, and installed a traecheotomy tube instead. Wow, you are a lot better about your breathing now. You are not constantly fighting with your tubes. You don't have to try to bite it out of your throat anymore. You respond better to us. You began to wake up more and are more able to nod yes and no for what you want and need.

Then on Thursday the 3rd, you had your feeding tube moved into your stomach. You also had the probe that measures your ICP's removed. You were free and we were able to hug you and kiss you without worrying about your tubes. We became so number oriented that we kind of miss that monitor. Now we just try to keep you calm.

During both of these surgeries they put you under with a local and a paralytic. That way they didn't have to put anymore undue stress on you. You came out of the paralytic after a few hours, and slowly woke up out of the local. You are amazing. Instead of taking baby steps, you are trying to run.

Thursday night you cost me money sweet boy. We were up at the hospital after your surgery to put in the stomach tube. You were coming out of the anesthesia, and they asked us to go out so that they could do their assessment. (they do this every four hours). Your mom, Chet, Ryan and I went out in the waiting room. 17 minutes went by, and we wanted to go back in (remember, you had no tubes, and we could kiss you all over). Your mom was on the phone (don't act so shocked about that) and Ryan and I went in ahead of her. We walked up on either side of your bed, and I was talking to you and you gave me the biggest smile ever. I was so excited that I ran out in the waiting room to get your Mom.

When she came back in you would not smile, blink, mouth an answer, you were being stubborn to a fault. Your mom thought that I was lying, or that you had gas. Finally, before we left, I told you "Adam you need to do something here. We have to go home with her, she is going to bitch all night long because I got the smile. I will give you a hundred bucks, right now, if you smile for your mom." You looked over at me and gave me the biggest smile ever. I hate to say it, but it was money well spent.

On Friday, they started weaning you down on the meds, they had you at the lowest doses possible, and none of the "milk of amnesia". You are starting to remember stuff, and are able to give us yes and no answers. It is hard to leave you. You have excellent care though.

Yesterday, Saturday, Uncle Guy came to see you in the morning and reported back saying that you were wide awake and fighting like a banshee. I got out of bed and came up to see you. They had you sitting in a chair. How awesome that was. They didn't have your hands tied down, but they had control of you wrist bands. I came in and you kept trying to get up. The nurse asked me if I wanted to hang on to you, if I was okay with that. Of course I was. I could handle you as a bratty kid, I can handle you now. You kept trying to get up, and I couldn't let you. I was laying across you arms, you were trying to lean over and pull your tubes. You are still trying to trick us.

They finally put you back in bed and it was about an hour and a half, and finally you were tired enough from fighting to go to sleep. So I just rubbed your forehead and held your hand. Then I went back to your Moms and took a nap. You had a rough night. You will not sleep, you just want to get up.

When I called about you this morning, they said that you were in physical therapy. WOW !!!! You are amazing. You are getting up to go to the bathroom, and you want the catheter out, but not yet. You are still to weak to stand. We spent 3 hours wrestling you, and you would not go to sleep. Chet was giving you a hard time so I told you I would give you a hundred bucks to flip him off. You would look at me and then look at him, but could not get your fingers to do that. I gave you the hundred anyway. I put the $ 200.00 in your hand, you reached for it. So you had it crumpled in your left hand. We told you to hang on to it, so the nurses wouldn't take it. You hid it under the covers. During all of this, you still wanted to get up, you were fighting like crazy. So you dropped one of the hundreds and Chet grabbed it. He told you he had it, and you looked in your hand and saw that you didn't have them both. We got it back for you, and all was right with the world.

I have it in my purse for you. It is Sunday night and we are getting ready to come and see you. You finally went to sleep at about 6:30 tonight. Joanie the nurses aid and Kirsten were very relieved. They have earned their money today. They moved you today over in front of the nurses station. That way you can be monitered 24/7. You are to willing to rip out your tubes to easily. We don't mind the fight. It us much better than having you unconscious. I love you Sweet Boy and I am hanging on for dear life.

Adam Curtis - Part 3

This is our day today, pretty happy. Sunday night we went to see Adam, and of course he was okay. Just "hangin' around". We stopped by after getting a phone call that was distressing. Matthew was in St. Joseph Hospital. Wow!! He had some pretty bad pain going on, and being the good boy that he is, we knew that it wasn't the brown bottle flu from Saturday night. First he had a trip to Group Death (did I say that?), then they sent him over to St Joes, he had all of the appropriate tests, and lo and behold - we have an emergency appendectomy going on. (Is there a non-emergency appendectomy - of course it was emergency). Ryan, Chet, Sherri, and I went to the hospital and sat in the waiting room, the doctor finally came out and said that he was through, and that he did great. We went up to his room, and had a contest to see who could make him laugh first. I am not sure who won, however, it was fun trying. He is doing great by the way, and home at Chet and Sherri's. He came home on Monday morning, what a Studmuffin. Monday morning I tried to go to work like a normal person (what is normal?- a setting on the dryer!!!) Then about 12:00 PM I went to the hospital. Adam had been moved to a room closer to the nurses station, and required a full time "sitter". Someone who just sits and watches that he doesn't hurt himself. Kind of weird, but neccessary. He is able to communicate, although not alway in the best way. He gets pretty colorful in his wording. The only saving grace is the trake, and he can't get any sound out. I try to fill in for him, and just nods if I get it right. We got home about 6:00 PM for family night. We are all very positive about your recovery, and the hope that you are going to be okay. We don't know if you get to be a "setting on the dryer", but we are optimistic. After dinner, Uncle Guy and I were sitting at the dinner table, about 9:10 PM and I had a weird feeling that it was time to check up on you. I called the hospital, and you were having a rough time. Andrea, your nurse, said that you were fighting her and the sitter pretty hard, she was pretty stressed out. She said that maybe we could come try to calm you down. Mom, Mary O., Ryan and myself went up to the hospital, and you were pretty agitated. Between us, we were able to calm you down. You were not to amused by us, but responded okay. We calmed you down so good, that the charge nurse asked 2 of us to spend the night. We all raised our hand for this. You were in massive pain, and we wondered what was going on. They had sent out a urine sample and you have a urinary tract infection. Pretty bad, you are peeing blood. The burning sensation, and the pain are about to do you in. We finally got meds to treat you about 3 hours later. You kick and fight every time that you have to go to the bathroom, my heart breaks for you. I love you so much, and it hurts to see you in so much pain and confusion. We were able to carry on a conversation with you for the last few days, and you are pretty fun when you aren't frustrated with us. Here are some of the things that you do, they are amusing, frustrating, and sad, but they give us hope You want to write, we give you a pen and paper, your co-ordination isn't to good, so you scribble for us and we tell you how wonderful you did, and hang it on the wall. You mouth words to us, we try to understand, and sometimes, we get it right. Some times we can't figure it out, we say the wrong thing, and you get mad. You look at us like we are stupid, roll your eyes, and shake your head, and say fuck because we are just dumb. We are learning what your different signs mean, and you are so glad when we figure it out on the first try. You know how to tell us you want a mouth swab, your blankets on, moved up in the bed, your hands freed up, when you want to go to the bathroom. We are learning with you buddy. We untie you as much as we can, and then we give you a break. You really don't like to be tied down, but sometimes it has to be done. You get stubborn and we have to keep you safe. Today you wanted me to make a list. I did that, and our list read like this: Shower, Clothes, Phone, and Jello. You wanted the doctor to have it. I finally gave you the phone, you put a few numbers in, and put it down. It wasn't as much fun as you thought it would be. The doctor came in, we told her about all of the things that you want, after she told us what a miracle that you are. On Friday, they were making arrangements to put you in convalescent care, and today you are on your way to a rehabilitation center. She was shocked, she could not believe the leaps and bounds you have made. If you are nothing else, Adam Curtis, you are a true fighter and champion. We were so happy to see, how happy she was. We take all of our hope in doses. Small or large. I have learned to make your faces, and that is scary. You try to trick us all of the time. We say don't go for the cath, you scratch your leg, and grab anyway. You cover your mouth to cough and then lunge for your trake. I finally let you take the trake apart and hold it. Go ahead, it isn't going to kill you, but it is easier to breath with it on. Then you just shrugged and gave it back, and AGAIN, we put it back on. I draw the line at letting you pull out your catheter, I know how important that is to you. And this goes without saying, I have seen your pee pee more that I saw any of my ex-husbands, and that is in the last 30 hours. Thanks for sharing. I tell you that the nurses are going to see your penis, and you just shrug, and shake your head, you don't care. You want all the world to see. We talked to you about your head trauma, that you were in a bad accident, and you just shake your head no. You have felt your incisions, and know you were hurt bad, but do not understand that you were comatose for 3 weeks. Today is the 22nd day after the tragedy. You have to be reminded over and over what is wrong, and what we have to do to keep you safe. You go to sleep, and show fear and surprise everytime you wake up again. We tell you it is okay, and explain it all over again. Kind of like "fifty first dates", you forget and we remind you. Fortunately, you come from a long line of talkers, and we are more than willing to tell you again. You don't like it, but so far, you are managing okay. Adam, you were a stubborn little shit the day I met you, and remain so. I am so grateful that God placed you and your family in my life. Mary has always, since the teenage years, remained faithful in the fact that you are her best friend. I have been blessed to be in the situation I am in now, and able to help your Mom with you, Destiny, Matt and Malia. It is amazing to me how God continues to work in our lives, and has seen fit, to allow us to keep you here with us. I love you little boy !!! Your other Mom - Momma T

To hear and fill his Pain. Adam I got you and love you.

Thursday, September 25, 2008



Well..................................When the phone rings at 3:30am its not good. It was my mom and she Said mary it happened again I thought what now? What could happen again?

Then she tells me that Mikey and Adam were jumped and bet up pretty bad. She said that Adam is having a very hard time,he was so upset that they hurt Mikey and mom thought I could help to talk with him.

First off those who now the bond we have would understand it from my seat. I heard My Adam with anxiety, fear,anger,saddness,scared and lost in his voice. From that point on today i have had a hard time dealing with the pain and hurting heart that i know he has.

first everyone has to remember the Adam I know. They came down to the pool and from there on we had a bond. We did everything together, he loved to pick on me and i would always try and wrestle with him and he always said that I wasnt in his weight class.....HAHAHAHA! Sorry those boobs were heavy.

We went everywhere together we went camping,babysat Taylor, always had a lot of Friends Over. We were great team and the best of friends.Some of the little things that will always be a reminder are taxis because we rode in one home from kallas once,when i see ants i remember when he swallowed one.He still cant lie to us because we can tell and so he never trys. When he usually is telling a little white lie and we Question him his face turns all red and he get the giggles, How i would love to here those again. He will always be that Adam to me the one that made me laugh, smile, cry, just being there and having fun.

To know that he is suffering so bad its heart breaking the filling of the unknown is the worst. That feeling of fear everytime you go somewhere, feeling that you can breathe and you dont want to talk to anyone because they tell you, your crazy! get over it! I'M NOT SAYING HE IS PERFECT (YES HE IS).

What im saying is that just going down the road i was on and watching Adams Pain build and build and not be able to say what it is. To me that was the worst feeling ever i dont care what anyone says. I would do anything before i got there again. In some ways i now how he feels.

Being Negative to him will never help it will always make it worse.So if you want want worse then keep going. I know that people are saying that he will just do it again but what IF one time he doesn't. I will say that i know that one day will come but im hoping for it before its to late. But I will say this I WILL ALWAYS BE RIGHT HERE WILLING AND WAITING TO HELP HIM!!!

When people tell you make yourself that way then you think you do and makes everything worse, It eventually will over take you and you will think that everyone is talking about you and that if you leave the house then someone willsay something about you. If someone said your house is dirty you will clean it aover and over again and in your head you will always be gross and dirty.

I have said Over and Over again be positive to everyone Use kindness in your words and try to always have an open heart. People That have been put down, and have had a hard times need positive help. Yes I can say now that i now what is going on with me i learn more and more about things everyday.

YES it will get old always trying to help but if you love them you will help them and helping them doesnt mean giving the money and buying them drugs. It means helping them to find the anwsers to the problem that is so deep, lend an ear for listening and give them the straigth to more forward, a shouldren to cry on, a hand to help them up when they fall again. Also everyone needs to be on these Doctors and get him the help he needs for his brain damage. Lets Fix it not make it worse.

So for those who are wondering Yes Adam was in another fight and yes he isnt perfect but there are people who just love to point there finger and start crap but are to afraid to look in that mirror and see their problems so I Im thinking Why DONT YOU deal with your own issues and leave others alone unless you are willing to help him and stand by his side and if you can do that then Go Away.

Adam is a great guy and that Adam is lost inside this one and needs help out so if you love him at all bit your tounge and be positive to him and see what a difference this can make. Because who nows someday this could be you needing help.

Adam and Mikey to I love both of you and get well soon!

IM here and I always will be....

A few interesting things to help Also findings of what this can be

Why do mental illness and drug addiction so often go together? New research reveals that this type of dual diagnosis may stem from a common cause: developmental changes in the amygdala, a walnut-shaped part of the brain linked to fear, anxiety and other emotions
Dual diagnosis is common yet difficult to treat. Addiction of all types -- to nicotine, alcohol and drugs -- is often found in people with a wide variety of mental illnesses, including anxiety disorders, unipolar and bipolar depression, schizophrenia, and borderline and other personality disorders. Lead author Andrew Chambers, MD, cites clinical reports that at least half the people who seek help with addiction or mental-health treatment have co-occurring disorders. Epidemiological data says that from two to five of every 10 anxious or depressed people, and from four to eight of every 10 people with schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or antisocial personality, also have some type of addiction.
To find the scientific basis for this complex, seemingly intractable pairing, which has in the past been attributed to "self-medication," Chambers' team at the Indiana University medical school compared the adult mood- and drug-related behavior of two groups of adult rats: those whose amygdalas were surgically damaged in infancy and those whose amygdalas were left intact but who underwent a sham surgery, to equalize their treatment.
Rats with damaged (lesioned) amygdalas grew up abnormally under-responsive to ambiguous or potentially threatening stimuli. Not showing the normal caution, they moved significantly more in response to novelty, showed significantly less fear in an elevated maze, and kept socializing even when exposed to the scent of a predator.
Crucially, these same rats also were significantly more sensitive to cocaine after just one exposure. And rats given repeated cocaine injections later showed even stronger expressions of the enduring changes in behavior -- suggesting an overall hypersensitivity to the addictive process.
Given that the experimental and control rats were raised in the same tightly controlled conditions, the only difference being their brain status, researchers concluded that the integrity of the amygdala was the root cause of both impaired fear behavior and heightened drug response.
"Brain conditions may alter addiction vulnerability independently of drug history," says Chambers. He and his colleagues concluded that someone's greater vulnerability to addiction, rather than a given drug's ability to alter the symptoms of mental illness for better or worse (usually worse), more fully explains the high rates of dual diagnosis.
For these reasons, and given the lab evidence and the fact that dual diagnosis patients do less well on psychiatric medication than other patients, Chambers wondered whether the underlying problems in the brain -- what he calls "neural inflexibility" -- make it harder for these people to respond.
To improve the effectiveness of treatments for dual diagnosis, Chambers would like to see educators, counselors, physicians, and scientific researchers integrate insights into both mental health and addiction. Funding the simultaneous treatment of both disorders would also help, he observes, given that "dual-diagnosis cases are the mainstream among these patients, probably because addiction and mental illness are strongly linked by neurobiology."
What may harm the amygdala early in human development? Dr. Chambers cites the relatively rare cases of temporal lobe epilepsy, tumors or early brain injury. Far more common, he speculates, are complex interactions among subtle genetic and environmental factors that change the way the amygdala functions or is connected to the rest of the brain during childhood and adolescence. For example, he says, "Early emotional trauma, paired with a certain genetic background, may alter the early development of neural networks intrinsic to the amygdala, resulting in a cascade of brain effects and functional changes that present in adulthood as a dual-diagnosis disorder."

How Can I Help An Alcoholic or Drug Addict? - Specific Things You Can Do To Help
1 - Understand Addiction
This is a logical and very necessary first step. Before you can learn how best to help a struggling addict or alcoholic, you need to understand the nature of addiction. There are several models of addiction that attempt to describe what it is and why it affects people, but none of those models are entirely accurate. Many people have heard of the disease model, which does a fairly decent job of describing what we see in the real world. For example, even addicts or alcoholics who have stayed clean for several decades can relapse and be right back to their old level of consumption within a matter of d

Also note that addiction can affect potentially anyone, including those who:

-Have no apparent genetic predisposition for addiction or alcoholism

-Have very little environmental risk

-Have no moral shortcomings or laziness about them

Even if you do not believe in the disease model, learning more about addiction is a necessary foundation in learning about how you can potentially help a struggling addict or alcoholic.

2 - Get Help Yourself
We cannot control a drug addict or an alcoholic, but we can control our own behavior–including how we behave in relationship to a sick and suffering (and possibly manipulative) addict or alcoholic. Therefore, the best thing that you can do if you want to help someone in your life is to get yourself to an Al-Anon meeting. The people there can listen to your situation and give you the best specific advice on how to go about handling things. Educating yourself on how to set limits and boundaries is one of the most important things that you can do in this case.

3 - Establish Boundaries, Set Limits
One example of setting a boundary is telling a close friend that you prefer they not be around you if they are drunk or high. Notice that it is specific, and you have to sit down and communicate this type of request explicitly with someone. Setting a boundary like this is difficult because there is this tendency to hurt other's feelings. But that is part of what is keeping you sick–caring more about this person's feelings than your own personal well being. Setting boundaries is about putting your own personal well being first, and letting that be a guiding example of how to live. You know you are setting effective boundaries when you are taking back control of your own life and starting to regain your own sanity–instead of being all wrapped up in the problems of a struggling drug addict or alcoholic.

SO YOU WANNA HELP A FRIEND WITH A DRUG PROBLEM?

HATE THE DRUGS, NOT THE USER
It's tough to sit down with your friend and make comments that will invariably provoke the response "Who are you, my mother?" However, you've got to start somewhere, and the best thing to do is to criticize the substance that your friend is taking. If you start by criticizing or questioning some aspect of your friend's behavior, he might just shut you out, become defensive, or become confrontational. Of course, it doesn't take a genius to guess that a conversation that starts out with "Cocaine certainly is a dangerous chemical, wouldn't you say?" is going somewhere other than chemistry. Don't say it that way. Say it in the tone of voice you use when you're commiserating or communicating with your friend, and say something like "Cocaine sure sucks."

If your friend bites at the bait you've laid out and starts talking about it, then you've got an opening to try to find out what's going on. Once the conversation turns to her substance use, casually ask how much she's using, and how often. Then ask if she thinks that's a lot, and, if she doesn't, ask what would be a lot. During this initial conversation, you just want to get your friend to admit to you and herself how much she's using, and to get her thinking about whether she's got a problem or not. Don't push it too far, and never be critical or judgmental. Close by saying that you want to help and that you want to talk about it again sometime.

If your friend does not take the bait, don't push. Once you've said something, both of you will know why you said it, and it will hang there until your friend chooses to acknowledge it. He might be ignoring it just to show you that he doesn't have to talk to you about it if he doesn't want to. He'd be right – he doesn't have to talk to you. So just leave it alone and see if he has the guts to come back to your earlier comment sometime later. If he doesn't, wait for another occasion and try again.
It might sound like we're suggesting you pussyfoot around the issue and keep the kid gloves on forever. What about tough love? We advise you to leave any confrontational approach to the family and/or the professionals. It's not your place to slap your friend around and be confrontational, and if you try it you'll almost certainly do it wrong and make things worse. If your attempts at gentle intervention are continually brushed off or ineffective, you should think about narking your friend out to his family (i.e., telling them he's a junkie), and suggesting they talk to a counselor about one of the more dramatic, tough love style interventions. If we can't talk you out of staging your own intervention, please, please speak to a professional counselor or otherwise seek help (see the list of resources in section 4) before you do it. Know exactly what you want your friend to do, and have a plan.

PROVIDE A DRUG-FREE OPTION
As people become more involved with drugs, they start to seek the company of others who will do the drugs with them, enable them to obtain the drugs more easily, and won't hassle them about the drugs. Once you decide that your friend has a problem, you must NEVER take the substance he or she uses when you're with him. For example, if you like to drink occasionally, you shouldn't drink with your alcoholic friend. Think up other things to do and talk your friend into doing them. Chances are, he's got plenty of friends to drink with, so you need to provide a sober option.
If you're picturing skipping through alpine meadows or youth group meetings run by Ned Flanders, that's not necessarily what we mean. Try taking your friend out for coffee or dinner (at a non-licensed restaurant, if she's a drinker) and making good conversation the focus of the evening. Or see a ballgame, play pool, or air hockey or cards, or start a Fight Club (maybe not this last one). There are plenty of things to do -- that don't suck -- that do not involve substance abuse. You should make it a point to draw up a (secret) list of things to do, and make it your goal to get your pal to do them all with you. When the two of you do something fun that doesn't involve sitting around getting messed up, your friend will remain aware that there are other ways of living.Addicts who have strong social or family networks and jobs are more likely to be able to break their addictions than addicts who are alienated and unemployed. Make sure you help to provide the social network, and get in there before your friend loses so much that she doesn't care anymore.... RECOMMEND THAT YOUR FRIEND SEEK HELP

Once you've gotten to the point where your friend trusts you to talk to him about his problem, you've got to recommend that he should seek help. Alcoholism and drug addiction don't go away by themselves, and few people are strong enough to quit cold turkey. The help you provide is necessary and important, but it probably isn't sufficient. There are many different ways to get help with addiction, and you should suggest them all to your friend until you hit on one that's acceptable to her.
We'll provide you with a list of suggested places to get help, and you can either print it out and give it to your friend or just remember the ones which seem suitable and talk to him about them.

PRAISE SUCCESSES
Many, many recovering addicts relapse back into addiction. It's a sad fact that once you've been addicted to something you're always somewhat at risk to start using it again, and your friend is no exception. That's why you've got to make sure he knows that any time he spends off the drug is good time. Keep up with his progress, and praise him for any success he has. Comment on how good he looks, how much happier he seems, and how things are really going well for him, even if these are blatant lies. Don't patronize, but be ridiculously positive.

Another thing to remember is that recovering addicts tend to find life extremely boring once they start living life without the drug. Refer back to Step 3; you've got to be the no-drugs fun person who convinces your friend that a sober life is worth living. This might be tough on you, because your friend might actually be kind of boring while she tries to adjust. Be a good friend and stick with her. With your help, your friend could go on to be rich and successful, and then you can borrow money from her. And isn't that what being a friend is all about?
We wish the best of luck to you and anyone who is affected by substance abuse...

Jordans sum of her heart surgery!

So June 1 2008 after the great nurse at good Sam saw her heart rate was a little high and wanted to re check it once more, which showed a rapid heart rate. So we have him to thank for her today. After seeing a dr in tacome with out any good results or answers we went to childrens and with in days they said she had H factor pylori, AET (Artial Ectopic Tachycardia). So it explained alot of her weight issues and why she couldn't keep up with her soccer sisters. So after ALOT of Meds the H factor Pylori was gone and so in DEC 08 they attempted aElectrophysiology study and Ablation, in which was UN successful, So we waited and as things got worse for her they wanted to try again, so on June 2 09, we went back in and had the surgery again, they were able to see that there was also an Accessory Pathway, along with the AET. So we were told there was a 3 percent chance of it returning. the Next 3 months she had all the energy back. but around September I noticed a drop in her running and energy, I asked her and she said Just because I'm not running that fast doesn't mean my hearts acting up. But come to find out she was just scared because she knew something was wrong but what! After an attack at school, they called me and we went back in so over the last 6 months we have done all those test again and sure enough after the stress test he said they have to go back into surgery, Not sure if its the same as before or something else. So we will be going in for Surgery on June 16th, the surgery will last 6 to 8 hours depending on what they locate.

So Jordan's third Surgery was no so great, they were able to tell us that the Accessory pathway tachycardia

that they located and  did a successful ablation, has stayed closed and didn't re-open, but on the other side of things are the Atrial Ectopic Tachycardia was still there but the location is in the upper chamber but right against the lower chamber So they tried for 8 hours and also gave her straight Liquid adrenal for 6 hours, they were able to try but they didn't get it. So we ended up spending the Night at Children's Hospital. We didn't even get to see her until 10 pm because all the Adrenal they gave her made her sick and gave her a massive Migraine, also they were not sure if she would be okay Thur the night. So My mom had to work in the morning, and Linda and her were both willing to stay with us, but we sent mom home so she could rest, Linda ended up staying and staying in the room with Jordan, because I cant handle the door shut and being trapped in. So Carly and I slept up in the the Family resource center. So we have attended multiple Dr appointments and as things stand know shes a medical mystery, they would need three cases to make it a medical study. That's due to the fact that there are no records ever that show someone who can have two rhythm. So we will keep up out fight and carry on.

I will say that it was harder for Us the first and second time, but i think this time is more scary for her and us with them not knowing what it is and the fear from her is pretty hard. Shes very scared but the Dr did tell her no needles when shes awake... So that helps her alittle...



SO PLEASE SEND HER WORDS ON ENCOURAGEMENT AND PRAYERS!! SHE STILL HAS ALONG FIGHT AND SHE NEEDS SUPPORT FROM ALL HER FAMILY,FRIENDS, SOCCER SISTERS, SOCCER FAMILY, AND ANYONE WHO IS INVOLVED IN HER LIFE!!!!





THANKS

MARY



After the Surgery in June!



Some of her closes friends ever

Sounders Opener March 25 2010


best friends

They are the true meaning of Forever Friends

.

Our Grandpa Bill

Our Grandpa Bill (Whiskey Bill)

So I wanted to share with everyone the Insight that I have received from my grandpas tapes, I have always love to hear him talk at AA meetings. But I have to say that today I have listened to three of them and i can never get enough of him.

So as i listen to him I can see his face, him standing there in his cowboy boots and overalls or a nice shirt with one of his wonderful Indian turquoise bow Tye, his comb in his front pocket and getting a drink of his coke with ice. I feel at piece with life when hes talking, I will say at my age today I have learned that my grandpa was smarter then i ever though he could be. I do see what hes talking about Your Religion or AA isn't a program its a way of living. As I heard many times in my life was that my Great Grandma (grandpas Mom) Said "Billy, I don't care what you believe in Just grab on to it and hold on tight." "Acceptance is love" he said Its learning to love the right way, my grandpa is amazing, the things hes been Thur and have done I'm so grateful that we had him in our life.

Our grandpa has lived on streets,in cars,in houses with Grandma and there 7 kids. he shared so much in each of these talks, the man who grandpa met in California, he brought my grandpa home, and I'm so glad for that, the way my grandpa explains it. He never wanted to hurt anyone and he thought he only was hurting himself. he said that he had a hard time with Believing in God. He said he tried and one night he lied down after not sleeping for weeks and Ask God to Help Him! He said that night he went to sleep and in one shakeable place he woke up knowing weather he was a live or died He was going to be OK.
He said " I see no evil in you I only see goodness and love in each and everyone of you."
Grandpa said "the truth will set me free and he knows that."
Grandpa said that step 3 of the 12 step book is take your own inventory and as he said he still always was taking inventory,

He said he was 14 of 17 kids and felt that he wasn't wanted, I can define it very simple to day and it an inability to love and be loved. I didn't know how to give and receive."
He said that he got to see his kids 2 months into being sober and he said the week before that he ran into a lady and said "Ma" I'm sober and I'm never going to drink again" he said Her response was "Ya right Bill"then she turned and walked away. That would be our Grandma She was so strong and courageous. He talks about how he took one of his sons to get some shoes and to a meeting and that night after they got home he went to make sure everyone was covered up. Then he saw something that he would never forget. he said "Ma Come look at Chuckie" as she went into the room with grandpa, and saw those shoes on Chuckies pillow. She said Pa those are the first new shoes hes ever got." he was 11 and all these years I thought I was only hurting myself. he talks about his daughter who had joined the program all she wanted was acceptance from her Dad.

He Shared about his Granddaughter, She was 8 or 9 months old and they were going to a meeting and someone said Bill she cant be her. Grandpa said well you see this jug(her bottle) "I've been trying to get her off this her whole life" and then he set her down, she couldn't walk but she stood there wobbling and said "You see her she cant stand still" " Hell She cant even talk right" From that day on she went to that meeting everyday. We would go to breakfast every morning, But that grand baby taught me more about Forgiveness then anyone ever could. She didn't care if I had bad breath or my hair was messy or if I was ugly. She just loved her old grandpa and he knew that. (That is his Rainy).

As for me the words that always helped me were "Its going to be Okay My Mary Girl" I would love to hear him say that once or twice in my last few years of hurt and pain I have been thur.

Also I never thought anything was ever wrong with my family I thought we had the best of everything in our family, We once were said that those Bill Rushton have money we were the rich ones and I will never forget our Grandpas words at that moment "YES WE ARE RICH, BUT WE AREN'T RICH WITH MONEY WE ARE RICH WITH THE LOVE WE HAVE AND SHARE" to so many of us in my family live with that and by that.

My crazy family, i wanted them back when i quit drinking, we had to part and get divorced because we couldn't get past the before and yesterdays. Because of the ability to live this program and the ability to forgive and forget Shes my Best Friend Today.

4 of my crazy kids are in the program and 1 in training. He said if he needs to go to AA he will and I know he wont but that would be OK.

"God is in your eyes your laughter and your smile."

"God I love you people."

I can say that After I listened to all three of those tapes tonight I have a new feeling of its going to be OK and that our grandpa was a wonderful as we thought.